Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
