so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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