that's an acceptable place to lick
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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