i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I need to align my fucking chakras
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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