if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
