Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
