Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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