I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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