clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
