just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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