My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
