so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
