Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
