i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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