dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
