Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I have fence marks all over my body
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
