She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
