She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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