i barfeds in our rink
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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