is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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