Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
