it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
