And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
