Sry I called you an 8
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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