he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
