First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
