you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
