Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
