I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
