I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
