i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
