She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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