dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we made out on top of his cat.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
