My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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