I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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