why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
