does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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