Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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