sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
