Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
