I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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