so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
