new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
