Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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