He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
