What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
