Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
