my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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