Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
