Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
