I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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